Holiday Humor #002

Posted elsewhere, originally, on Dec 26, 2014 12:47 pm



JUST IN !!!    Two new additions to the periodic table of element

ELEMENT NAME: WOMAN

SYMBOL: WO
ATOMIC WEIGHT: (do not even go there)
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: 
              - Generally round in form. 
              - Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. 
              - Melts whenever treated properly. 
              - Very bitter if mishandled.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES: 
              - Very active. 
              - Highly unstable. 
              - Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. 
              - Volatile when left alone. 
              - Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. 
              - Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.
USAGE: 
              - Highly ornamental. 
              - An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. 
              - Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
CAUTION: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.


ELEMENT NAME: MAN

SYMBOL: XY
ATOMIC WEIGHT: (180+/-50)
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: 
              - Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. 
              - Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. 
              - Difficult to find a pure sample. 
              - Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES : 
              - Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. 
              - Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. 
              - Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. 
              - Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
USAGE: 
              - None known. 
              - Possible good methane source. 
              - Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.
CAUTION: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.

NY Resolution 2015: I am turning 16 into 365 ...

Posted elsewhere, originally, on Dec 26, 2014 12:47 pm



IF I knew how then THIS post would be pinned into position #1 to serve as a daily reminder for myself as well as anyone who visit this blog!

This blog AND it's owner & Friends DO NOT TOLERATE VIOLENCE AGAINST CHILDREN, WOMEN or MEN !!! 

Feel free to turn around and leave IF this offends you.



REF.NYRES2015



.Tri.

Holiday Humor #001

Posted elsewhere, originally, on Dec 25, 2014 11:29 pm



An Ode To my Bra ...

To the greatest invention ever made
You're so uplifting you could star in you own parade
You keep my breasts held up nice & high
When I take you off I give the loudest sigh

We've been together through thick and thin
When you go on sale you're a major win!
For low plunging tops your the best push-up
When I want them hidden I wear a full cup

Most days you're my best friend
But not when you fade or bend
When you're perfect you fit all my needs
For fancy soirees I may even cover you in beads

Most of all - you make me look and feel the best I can be
I'll shout it out loud and print it on my 'T'
So - Thank you for every thing you've done
Now support me on the dance floor and let's have some fun!!!!

BY: Now That's Lengerie dot com

What Religion is Your Bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.

What type of bra? asked the clerk.
Type? inquires the man, There is more than one type?

Look around, said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable .
Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.

Relieved, the man asked about the types. The sales lady replied:
There are the Catholic, Salvation Army, Presbyterian, and Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The Sales lady responded, It is all really quite simple ...

The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole-hills.
BY:  w w w dot dot dot ...

Posted elsewhere, originally, on Dec 24, 2014 10:45pm

It's 01.57 am on 25/12/2014 in South Africa .. And that means that I can finally say:

MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!

Live, love and be safe

The Merriest of Christmas & Holiday wishes to you & yours

.Tri.

'Twas the night before Christmas [Microsoft version]

Posted elsewhere, originally, on Dec 24, 2014 10:45pm

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, except father's mouse.

The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,

As father did last-minute Internet shopping. 

The stockings were hung next the modem with care

In the hope that Santa would bring new software.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

With visions of computer games filling their heads.

Dark Forces for Billy, Doom II is for Dan,

Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.

The letters to Santa had been sent out by mom,

To Santa @ toyshop dot northpole dot com

Which now had been re-routed to Washington State

Where Santa's workshop had been moved by Bill Gates.

All the elves and the reindeer had had to skedaddle

To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.

After living a life that was simple and spare,

Santa now finds that he's a new billionaire,

With a shiny red Porsche in place of his sleigh,

And a house on Lake Washington just down the way

From where Bill has his mansion, and the old fellow preens

In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans.

The elves have stock options and desks with a view,

Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.

No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums

Will be under the tree, only compact disk ROMs

With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive,

From now on Christmas runs only on Win95.

More rapid than eagles the competitors came,

And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.

"Now, Adobe! now, Claris! now, Intuit! too,

Now, Apple! and Netscape! you're all of you through,

It's Microsoft's Santa that the kids can't resist,

It's the ultimate software with a traditional twist.

Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf,

And on the package, a picture of Santa himself.

Get 'em young, keep 'em long is Microsoft's theme,

And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream.

To the top of the Nasdaq! To the top of the Dow!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away - wow!"

And mum in her 'kerchief and me in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

The whir and the hum of our satellite platter,

As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky,

The Santalite owned by the Microsoft guy.

As I sprang from my bed and was turning around,

My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.

And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates

Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.

And I heard them exclaim in voices so bright,

Have A Microsoft Christmas,

And To All A Good Night.

.Tri.

Merry Christmas !! Feliz Navidad !! Joyeux Noël !! Meri Kirihimete !! UKhisimusi Omule !! 圣诞快 !! Geseende Kersfees!!

Posted elsewhere, originally, on Dec 24, 2014 12:26pm

Wishing you 

all the timeless treasures

Of Christmas,

The warmth of home,

The love of family

And the company of Good Friends...

The wonderful gift of Christmas is that 

It is not merely a one day 

Or one time experience, 

It lasts the whole year through!

The Merriest of Christmas and Holiday wishes to you & yours! 

.Tri

Killing me softly ...

Posted elsewhere, originally, on Dec 24, 2014 12:32 am

Tis Christmas Eve ... And I have one last serious matter before the silly season truly grabs hold of us all.

A very dear friend of mine recently asked the following question during one of his in public awareness & motivational communications on 'Drugs and our Youth': Have we failed this generation? 

My friend's name is Anthony ... 

Anthony has experienced just about all of the different kinds addiction (alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, etc. ) and its effects & down-the-line impacts, over the course of the past 30 years. He had gone from being a Drug Squad Detective & Company Director to park-bench-bum and ALL-sorts-of-substance abuser. Anthony hit his rock-bottom, and finally woke up to his reality (or lack thereof), after his (too-young) nephew died of a drug overdose. His daughter was born that same day.

Anthony says he received support and love from (what he thought to be) the most unlikely people and places. He cleaned up, finally sticking to his guns, and dedicated his life to extending a helping-hand to folk who find themselves in that same/similar position. At the same time this also strengthened his resolve to stay clean. After approximately 3 yrs of sobriety he founded the "Recovering Addicts Empowering Lives" support groups in the Western Cape and also started facilitating public awareness & motivational talks. Anthony's talks were harsh & brutal (and 'sobering' to affected family members) - with absolutely no sugar-coating. (I believe that this may be the the thing that keeps folk engaged - most people would say that no one had ever spoken to them the way Anthony had)

This particular support group has a holistic approach - focussing on the needs of both the recovering addict as well as their deeply affected loved ones. My family and I are/were one of these affected families. Anthony often, during meetings, shared with the groups that he, after a short while changed his slant by seeing 'being in the public eye' as an 'insurance policy' instead of additional pressure on his sobriety. In a similar way - Positivity, setting & sticking to boundaries are 3 of the integral parts of both the addict as well as their family's 'insurance policies' 

A Safe & Sober Living Farm (to prepare the recovering addict for integration back into the community) was opened, in Worcester's Breede Valley, after a woman offered Anthony the use of a rural property, as is, as a way of 'giving back' to the community AFTER being 'given back her family's lives'. A contract was drawn up giving Anthony the option to, after 5 years, acquire the property at a ridiculously reduced price.

Some of the points Anthony often talked about (questions asked in order to raise awareness & surface the red flags) during my time with the support group & farm which stays, uppermost, in my mind as I raise and guide my daughter at this stage are: 

- Have we allowed our children to dictate terms and conditions of how they want to be raised? 

- Do we teach them table manners?... Have family dinner time ISO quick supper in front of the TV?

- Do we allow our children to disrespect others and not correct them? 

- Have we failed to pass on respect and morals to our children? 

- Do we as families pray together?

- Are they simply 'given' rewards without instilling daily chore routines (helping around the house, or earning it, taught the value of money)

- Are they allowed to just leave things lying aroung for Mom/domestic to pick up? (Lack of responsibility)

- Do we know were they are at all times? who their friends are? 

- Do we check what they do on the computer? 

- Are we afraid to do drug testing when we notice changes in their behaviour? 

- Is it easier to give money and send them to the mall than to spend time with our children?

- Have we enabled them with the latest Laptops, cellphones and name brands because we don't/can't spend the necessary time with them? 

- Have we becoming financial enabling parents due to the rush and pressures of life? 

*insurance policy = the more people who know I'm a recovering addict the less chance there is that I'll think I can fool someone ...

• Do our children look up to us a role models? And are we?

• Have our teenagers become screenagers without us getting involved? (children taking Parents 'hostage' in their own home? )

• Have we LOST a generation to drugs because of our lack of guidance in, and and time for, our greatest investment ????

Yours Always,

.Tri